Monday, February 29, 2016

Reinforcing the Message

I heard a refreshing message at a 12-step meeting yesterday. And it was from someone at least fifty years younger than I. A 20-something.

And what she said wasn't new. It was her account of how alcohol had taken over her life. In fact, it nearly killed her until she embraced the program. A typical 12-step plot.

But it was refreshing for me because I need to keep hearing some things over and over. And one thing I've never heard an alcoholic say is that life got better once they became ensnared in the disease.

Instead, once they think they can handle drinking again, they learn how much worse things get as they continue.

I'm not sure why such messages are energizing for me. Maybe it's that I realize that 25 years ago I made a perfect decision when I got sober.

Because I was a child who learned very early that adults couldn't be trusted. By extension, authority of any kind was untrustworthy. And that mistrust bled into many aspects of my life. I didn't trust schools, churches, or organizations of any kind. And the 12-steps were an organization.

And that's why for a long time I couldn't trust them either. But I kept having alcoholic friends disappear into 12-step programs. People I drank with for years getting sober. Changing their lives.

And that made me reframe my thinking. And today I was reminded of that change in thinking.