A benefit of recovery is that I rarely become angry. And if I do, it quickly leaves. But it wasn't always that way. I could get upset about most any little thing. And carry it along with me all day.
For example, I wrote a few days back about getting up in the morning and finding one of dogs eating a rotten bird in the middle of the living room. It stunk so bad I almost threw up. It was that disgusting.
Instead of getting angry I got busy getting the mess out of the house. I spent half an hour cleaning everything up, mopped and sprayed and then went about my morning. But luckily for the dog, anger wasn't part of the equation.
And then when I got home this evening, the same thing. The dog had drug another dead bird in the house. But this one didn't stink and all that remained were a few feathers. No anger. I just got busy cleaning and then went about my evening.
What I've learned in 25 years of recovery is that there's no payoff in anger. I decided a long time ago that if I get angry that sooner or later I'd have to get happy again.
Instead of blowing up I take a different perspective. In the case of the dog I figured that it was a part of its DNA. It had nothing to do with me. That's how all his ancestors survived. They ate whatever they could find - rotten or not - just to stay alive.
And usually when someone's short tempered with me I decide it doesn't have a lot to do with me. Maybe that's how he or she was raised. Or maybe they have a sick relative at home. Maybe they just lost a job.
Whatever it is, I have a choice today about whether I want to join in or just stay happy.
Click here to email John
