I once heard someone say that if we picked our families, most of us would have chosen a different one. And I think they were serious about it. I know I would have picked a different one.
Maybe one with wealth and the ability to care for a child. Maybe one with love and understanding. Maybe a family that would spend time with them. Perhaps a family that taught the value of love and kindness.
Anybody but the people they went home with.
Many of the clients in our program come in with some kind of mommy or daddy issue. It's typical that the parents gave them anything they needed or wanted. By doing so what did they teach them? What they taught them was irresponsibility. That all you have to do is ask. It's also known as entitlement.
Then one day the parents look around and wonder why the kid is still asleep in the middle of the day. That's because the parents taught them that they were "special" and that they could slide through life with little or no responsibility. And they taught them that by expecting nothing from them. They just wanted the kid to like them; to be their friend.
Generally this arrangement comes crashing down when the parents realize they're raising an addicted bum. That's when the parents figure out - almost too late - that they must do something.
Then begins the treatment cycle which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't .
How much better if we raised our children to be responsible and sober. And, while it might be painful to say no - it's less painful than to watch their addiction evolve into something that often will kill them.
