“Peace is the
result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you
think it should be.” ~Wayne Dyer
This is one of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyer, who recently
passed away at the age of 75. He left of
a legacy of over 30 books that he'd written during 30 years of writing,
teaching, and public speaking.
What I think Dr. Dyer was talking about was acceptance of
things however they are at this moment.
When things show up in life that bring us unhappiness or dissatisfaction
they seem larger than life. And most of
the time they are too large for us to change in any meaningful way.
How many of us, myself included, have thought that if we just
had this perfect set of circumstances our lives would be wonderful. But then we get that job. Or house. Or car or girlfriend – whatever, and we find that wasn’t the answer to our problems either.
One thing I’ve learned after being on the planet for over
75 years is that it’s much easier to accept what we don’t like than it is to
change it. And that’s probably because
when we were much younger we were taught that to achieve certain goals would
bring us happiness. But after a few
rounds of following that myth and not finding the holy grail of happiness we
start to think differently. We start to
realize that where we’re at in life right now is not so bad.
I have a reader who has an alcoholic son that she builds
her life around. She prays for him. She wonders what she can do to free him of
his drinking. And I sometimes give her
what I think is good advice.
But I wonder what would happen if he suddenly showed up
one day sober and living a decent life.
Would she be happy then? Would
his new way of living change her life?
What would she do with the worry she had about him? Who would she direct the prayers at that
haven’t worked so far?
I know she hasn’t accepted his drinking and way of
life. But would she be happy if he quit
drinking? What would she do with all the
sorrow and grief she’d gone through all these years – so long that it’s almost
become a way of life?
Would she be happy with his recovery? Or would she have to find something else to
do with all the energy she spent crying out to God to save him?
Would she be able to process life just as it is?
