At one time when I'd hear those in recovery say "I'm so happy to be an alcoholic," I wanted to throw up. I couldn't understand how anyone would be happy to be an alcoholic. Today I understand what they meant and happily embrace that statement.

I joined the "happy to be an alcoholic" crowd because I've seen both sides of alcoholism. I drank for over 40 years. I was down and out and experienced prison, sickness, and the losses that come from being an out-of-control alcoholic. My father died of alcoholism at age 60. So did my brother. I don't know if my father was ever exposed to the 12 step programs because I didn't talk to him the last 15 years of his life. My brother went to meetings; however he said he "wasn't like the rest of those guys" in the rooms. I think his lack of identification was a factor in his death.

But I believe that death is the least of our concerns. One of the most important things I've gotten from the 12 step programs is learning to live. The literature provides us a blueprint, a concept of how to deal with nearly every situation. A key component of the blueprint is acceptance. Only when I accept what's going on in my life can I deal with it in a rational way. And beyond the first 164 pages of the Book, there are moving stories with examples of how alcoholics got sober and went on to live productive lives.

Accepting that I‘m powerless over alcohol and other substances saved me. For many years I thought I could control alcohol and drugs. This obsession put me in jail for 15 years, and in a mental hospital for an additional year. My life is an example of the obsessive determination of the addict to prove he ‘s in control. Once I fully conceded that I couldn’t successfully drink or drug life changed completely.

Oh, it didn't change in a flash of lightning. But progressively, day by day, life got better for me. At the time I didn't recognize it on the conscious level I do now. But as I trudged through each sober day life slowly improved. I got better jobs. I got better transportation. My health improved. I seemed to make saner decisions. While the material, visible improvements were obvious, it was the spiritual, emotional and psychological improvements that weren't so obvious. It was only later on that I realize that I was happier, more emotionally secure, and just felt better about my life overall.

This latter realization is the wonderful blessing of recovery. Material things come and go. But as long as I work the program happiness resides within me. I have picked up tools in the program to help me feel better about life. I learned not to compare myself to others in a negative way. If I compare myself to others at all it is from the aspect of gratitude. If I have a pain in my leg, I can look to others who have lost their legs in the war, and say I'm really blessed to have a leg, a limb that feels pain.

Today when I hear someone at a meeting say "I'm so happy to be an alcoholic," I know exactly what they mean. I'm one of the happy ones.