Relationships can be volatile for those of us in recovery. This came up yesterday when a TLC client was rejected by woman in whom he was interested. I didn't realize how infatuated he was until he told me she wouldn't date him. He was upset.

I warn our clients that relationships can endanger our sobriety. I share my experience. After I was sober three years I married a longtime friend and ruined a good friendship. I didn't let the divorce some nine years later tip me over. I didn't want to drink or use drugs. But I dealt with anger and resentment and spent time with my sponsor sorting out my feelings.

I tell those in my groups that we take risks when we marry. If we think about it, 50% of "normies" who marry eventually divorce. Based on these numbers, how can people in recovery – who seem to have so many issues – expect to do better?

It seems prudent that those of us in recovery contemplating relationships should be as logical and rational as possible. Sometimes we are so blinded by emotion and infatuation we throw good sense out the window. And I'm not sure this is characteristic of just young people in new recovery. I myself have been swept up in the emotion of a new relationship – and here I am a senior citizen with over 20 years sober. The chemistry of love can sweep us away in a tsunami of emotion that is almost overwhelming.

I haven't heard from this client today and hope he's all right. He has the intellectual and book knowledge about what to do. However, because he’s relatively volatile and emotional, he may act on his feelings. If that happens he may become angry and pick up a bottle unless he gets with his sponsor and deals with this issue.

There's a good reason sponsors and others who've been sober for a while recommend we wait at least a year before we make major changes in our lives.