In Love for 40 Years?

Relationships are tough for the average person, even tougher for those of us in recovery. But they sometimes work, sometimes very well. 

While on vacation here in Puerto Vallarta my sweetheart and I have had the privilege of spending time with new friends, a couple who’ve been married for over forty years. Even more interesting to me is that he’s a recovering alcoholic.

As one who’s been married three times and who’s been in more than one unsuccessful relationship I’ve watched this couple closely while here, trying to figure out how they’ve been together so long.

One obvious thing is that they care deeply for one another and show it by their behavior. They carry on a running dialogue about everything under the sun. Their conversation is always lighthearted and they never seem to tire of each other’s company. Sometimes, even in public, they’re like two parakeets, shoulder-to-shoulder, chattering away, oblivious to those around them.

They never quibble about anything.  If she wants to do something he doesn’t want to do he just shrugs his shoulders and goes along. And vice-versa. They don’t have power struggles about anything. They seem to like nothing better than hanging out with one another.

But I’m not sure it could be that simple. And before this trip is over I’m going to ask them the secret. And they could tell me it is that simple: be considerate of one another, love each other, and don’t fight about things.