Recovery Relationships

A former client came to our corporate office so drunk she was staggering. She had a dark bruise on her face. Her hair went every which way. Her blouse was open, partially exposing her breasts. The smell of alcohol was breathtaking.

When I told her she couldn't be on our property, she said she'd come to see a former client, a man she'd hooked up with the last time she was at TLC. It was a disastrous relationship, one that resulted in both of them getting drunk. I explained that he was doing well, and had been sober for several months. The last thing he needed was to see her. All she could do was threaten his recovery.

We offered to take her to an emergency room for help. She refused. We offered to take her to a detoxification clinic to get sober. She refused. At that point I told her to leave or I'd call the police. I told her if she returned we’d get a restraining order to keep her from the property. She finally staggered down the street, hopefully to get sober at some point.

The client she came to visit was upset because she had come. He was working in a restrictive part of the program, one that allowed us to monitor his behavior. While he said he had no desire to have anything to do with her, it was obvious he still had feelings for her. Or was it his disease kicking up, one more time beckoning him to destroy his life.

At TLC we keep the men and women separate for a reason. But, even then, it’s hard to overcome Mother Nature. The biological urges that course through all of us sometimes lead those of us in recovery to make bad decisions when we should be focusing on just getting clean and sober. We've had more than one experience where new clients have left together, thinking they’d found the most wonderful person in the world. 

So far we've never gotten any great reports about the success of relationships that start in our recovery program.