Last night, while at dinner on the beach here in Mexico, a friend asked who motivated me to get sober. I had to think for a moment, because I couldn't identify a single person who motivated me to change.
Oh, many tried. Family, friends, therapists, parole officers, well-meaning people talked to me from the age 12 about the path I was on - the slow slide to destruction. But none got through.
Pain. That was the motivating factor that led me to a detox and finally started me on the road to recovery. It wasn't physical, it was spiritual. It was demoralization so strong that it permeated every cell in my body; cast a haze of deep depression over my being. A pall of gloom lay over me, so heavy, that I knew I had to change or I would die in misery – or even worse, continue to live. And there wasn't enough drugs or alcohol to cover it up.
That's when I went to a detox with the attitude that I would do whatever it took because I wanted the pain to stop. Whatever it took.
My friend, who's not alcoholic, accepted my answer but I could tell she might have been happier had I a more dramatic and inspiring story of a strong, motivating figure who set me on the right path.
Pain. That was the motivating factor that led me to a detox and finally started me on the road to recovery. It wasn't physical, it was spiritual. It was demoralization so strong that it permeated every cell in my body; cast a haze of deep depression over my being. A pall of gloom lay over me, so heavy, that I knew I had to change or I would die in misery – or even worse, continue to live. And there wasn't enough drugs or alcohol to cover it up.
That's when I went to a detox with the attitude that I would do whatever it took because I wanted the pain to stop. Whatever it took.
My friend, who's not alcoholic, accepted my answer but I could tell she might have been happier had I a more dramatic and inspiring story of a strong, motivating figure who set me on the right path.
What she didn't understand is that we addicts cherish how we feel above all else. It's only when life inflicts enough pain that we will change.
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