Sunday, October 27, 2013

Negotiations

Sometimes parents think that negotiating with an addict is a great idea. The problem is that it rarely works for anyone. Except the addict.

I recently encountered a couple who told me of their plans for getting their drug addict daughter to quit using and move out of their attic into her own apartment.

And even though I've been clean almost 23 years I got a chill up my spine when I heard their story. I wondered why people like this never showed up in my life when I was using? It was an addict’s idea of heaven.

The scenario kind of went like this:  They would

  • Pay the first six months' lease on her apartment.
  • Stock the refrigerator every week until she found a job.
  • Give her an older automobile they owned and would insure it for six months.
  • Pay her tuition if she’d enroll in night school.

They believed this plan would motivate her to quit using and change her life. They were surprised when she declined their offer. She was quite comfortable where she was.

Among other things, I advised them to return home and tell the daughter to pack her stuff and hit the road.

But I know they didn't follow through because I never heard from them again.

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