We periodically get calls from couples who want to come into TLC and live together while they get sober. And we always turn them down because it's hard enough for one person to get sober. And our experience has been when two people try to get sober together - it's twice as hard.
Why? For one thing people who are using together seem to have a lot more issues. They not only have the issues of their using, but also relationship issues involving their addiction. Further, they often pay more attention to each other than they do to their personal sobriety.
We've allowed couples into the program at the same time. But they live far apart and aren't allowed to communicate for 30 days, unless the communication takes place under supervision. Even with that restriction, it can be risky because if one decides to leave, usually the other follows.
"But you don't understand, we love one another," is something we often hear from these couples when they want to change the communication rule.
Our cookie-cutter response is always pretty much the same: "That may be true, but your love didn't keep you two from using and becoming addicted together."
