In the years before I got into recovery I had a different idea about relationships. They were mostly about me, me, me. But my wife provides me with a good example of how a relationship should go.
For example, today she returned to our vacation condo with a bag full of my favorite herbal tea (“Buenas Noches”) – a brand I can't find in the United States. She purchased about 20 boxes, everything on the shelf.
And her gesture made me think about the many ways she lets me know she cares.
At home she keeps the refrigerator stocked with juice and food that I like. When she goes clothes shopping, she knows the brands I like. And she has a list of all my sizes.
There are many ways she shows she cares about me and loves me. And in turn I’m learning to show her I care about her and her needs.
For example, she has a phobia about insects. So when any kind of video or movie shows insects in a scene I immediately tell her to look the other way. And I no longer watch army ants on the Discovery Channel when she's around. And when insects invade our house, I’m the one who takes care of business.
When I read bad news in the morning paper I don't share it with her because it starts her day negatively.
I make sure she has plenty of massage coupons so she can keep her stress level down.
My list could go on and on. But the point is that when we love someone it's more than mouthing the words. It means showing in many small ways that they are important to us. And that their well-being and welfare often occupies our thoughts.
Now I got to figure out how to get all those teabags in my luggage.
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