Once in while I hear parents say they don't want their children to struggle in life. To not face the challenges they did when growing up. And for some reason this rubs me the wrong way.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's a good idea for parents to provide the basics. And opportunities for their children. That's an obligation we have as parents.
But parents who go above and beyond and spoil their children deprive them of a chance to grow and learn to make decisions. In other words they don't learn to take care of themselves.
Many of our younger clients were given everything, like it was an expression of love. Most of them never worked for anything. Many of them never paid rent. Applied for a job. Did their own laundry. Cooked their own food. Mom and dad did everything for them.
Then when they grow up and face life on life's terms it's overwhelming. They need something to mask their pain and fear. Maybe alcohol. Heroin. Crack.
If you want to raise an addict give them everything. Don't make them work. Let them live at home for free. Buy them a car. Give them expense money. Don't force them to go to school. Make sure you're their friend.
And if you do this, don't act surprised when they turn on you when you stop being the benefactor.
