One influence on the length of time clients spend at TLC is their dependent children. Many times a family sends loved ones to our program in hopes they'll get sober and return to raise their children. But sometimes clients aren't able to spend the time they need working on their recovery before they must leave to care for their offspring. This reality often works to the detriment of all concerned.

This appears to affect women more than men. It seems to be easier for men to find help to care for their children while they're in recovery. Or else fathers have been estranged from their families for so long that the mothers have obtained custody by default. And sometimes authorities have removed the children from the parents. This seems particularly true in the case of clients who are in their mid-30s and older, but still haven’t achieved sobriety.

The was illustrated for me again in last night's aftercare group. A thirty-something woman, whose children live with her family halfway across the country, was torn between wanting to be with her children and the reality that she needed to stay at TLC for her recovery. As she talked about her children, tears began wet her cheeks. But she reaffirmed she must stay where she was. Even though she’d committed to stay in our program for only 90 days, she realized she should stay until she gets it right.

And she was grateful to have family members who love the children and who are willing to care for them while she finishes her program.