Looking Too Good?

Sometimes when clients look really good on the outside we need to take a closer look. This came up recently with a client who'd been making a lot of improvements over the last six months.

When he first came in he was beat up from using drugs and living on the streets for years. But he seemed to quickly get into the swing of things. He found a sponsor, a job, and began saving money. And when he recently lost that job he didn't seem perturbed. He said he'd saved enough money to pay bills until he got a new job. And he had a new job coming up shortly - so he said.

It appeared too good to be true. And it was. Last week he suddenly announced he was leaving to return home for an "emergency." Of course we're familiar with these “emergencies” - which is usually code for "I'm going back out to start using again." And that's what happened with this client.

When I say we need to look closer when clients start to look really good in their programs, it's true. Sometimes we're happy to see these changes. But when someone, all of a sudden, seems to have it all together - and has this great exterior - we should take a closer look. Reality is that not many of us change that rapidly.  Some of us have spent years on the streets using drugs and alcohol. It's unrealistic for us to make overnight changes in our behavior. After 20+ years sober I’m still dealing with old behavior.

We don't undo the damage overnight. And we seldom change years of ingrained bad behavior without a lot of work. When we see clients who seem to have it all together we ought to take a closer look. That might help them avoid another relapse.