Sobriety as the Focus

A client with a history of repeated relapses was the center of this week's group. This client is talented, personable, organized and easily puts projects together. Yet eventually he starts thinking his talents somehow means he's sober – whether or not he's working the steps.

He ended up being the focus of a group because one more time he started taking charge and was fired from his TLC job. In the past when this happened he'd sometimes pick up a bottle and spend several months on the street before returning to recovery. The focus of the group was to get his thinking back to what was important, to help get his ego out of the way.

We addicts and alcoholics often times put the cart before the horse, so to speak. We start looking at externals, such as the things we’ve acquired or the success we've had, and think that somehow this means we’re sober.  I discovered some twenty years ago that if I focus on living sober everything else works out. But if I forget that all I have flows from my sobriety, then I might be destined to relapse.

I recall well my early days of sobriety. As I focused on my recovery good things kept happening. I didn't have a goal - other than to stay sober and stop the pain. But in the process of my staying sober I started acquiring things: relationships, jobs, and different kinds of material possessions I hadn't really thought about. I felt so wonderful having had a reprieve from the misery I was living that everything else was frosting on the cake.

I tried to convey this to our client. I suggested he turn the process around. Instead of believing his accomplishments equaled sobriety, accept sobriety as the central focus of his life. I believe our Higher Power wants us to succeed in every area of our life. And if we live within the guidelines of the 12 step programs we’ll receive the blessings promised us on page 83. At least I have.