"Status" in Recovery

Before writing this morning I glanced at the headline of the automobile section of the newspaper. Beneath it was a picture of a Cadillac Escalade. The headline described the vehicle as a "status symbol."

For some reason this resonated with me because at one time I would've said "yes, this is the vehicle I want to drive."  But today, as a person in recovery, my values have changed. I'm no longer the car I drive nor the house I live in. I no longer must wear clothing with expensive logos or patronize fancy restaurants. I try to do nothing with money solely for so-called "status."  Because I've come to recognize that "status" is about what other people think of me and how I rate in their eyes if I spend a lot of money. 

That has nothing to do with my sober life today. What's important to me is sobriety. It's important to me how many people I can help in my business and in my personal life. If people think well of me because I drive a fancy car and wear expensive clothing, then they won't think well of me if I'm driving an ordinary car or wearing off the rack clothing from Wal-Mart. And why should I care about what people who have these kinds of values think of me?

Now I'm not saying there's not a place for nice things in our lives. I happen to own an 10 year old  Z06 Corvette that I enjoy driving on weekends and holidays. It was a relatively expensive car when I bought it, but I enjoy driving it because of its less than four seconds 0 to 60 performance as an off-track race car. But the car I drive daily is a used Prius.  I also own two pair of expensive levis. But I wear them because they are comfortable and because they fit well – not because of what someone will think of me when I wear them. Also, I got them on sale at an aftermarket retailer at a great discount.

What I explain to others in recovery is that once we have the basics, the rest is mostly about ego. After all, does Bill Gates’ car get him to the office any faster than mine? And the roof on my home keeps me just as dry as would the roof on a $10 million house. The rest is about style and ego - and that's not what my recovery is about today.