Today I’m grateful to my Higher Power for removing the blinders from my eyes so many years ago. I was a homeless lost fool, wandering through a wilderness of self-delusion. I no longer had friends who talked to me. I'd lost my job. I lived in a stolen car. I'd sold my belongings and spent the money on drugs. I was facing criminal charges for petty crimes.
I was at a juncture in my life. It was go back to prison at 52 years old, die a homeless bum on the streets, or try to get sober. Even though deep down I knew that I was an alcoholic and my life was unmanageable, for the first time I admitted it to myself. I entered a local detox in Mesa, Arizona totally demoralized – yet overflowing with willingness.
When I entered that detox I was done. I turned my will and my life over to the care of God. For the first few days I went through physical withdrawal from alcohol and drugs. As my head slowly cleared over the next two weeks I decided to change my life. I was at the bottom emotionally, physically, financially. I had no place to go but up.
When I finally surrendered and admitted I was an alcoholic and drug addict things began to change. Oh, not overnight. But slowly, each day, I began to get a little better.
Strangers reached out to help. People in recovery came to the detox to speak to us about their recovery. A local halfway house accepted me into their program – even though I didn't have money or a job. I remember the feeling of gratitude when they accepted me.
Today I have vivid memories of those first days of recovery and I’m filled with gratitude.
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