Sober Relationship?

For those of us in recovery, relationships can be a dangerous minefield of unexpected emotions – even for those of us who've been sober for many years. 

So recently, when a client who's been in the program for little more than a year said he wanted to move in with a woman he had known for a month I cautioned him. But because he's caught up in the rush of hormones and emotions that come with a new romance, he was upset when I suggested he move slowly.

He had a multitude of reasons of why it would work. They were about the same age. She was not an addict, but supported his recovery. They were of the same religion. He cited the values they shared in common. When he came at me with all this information I realized it was futile to try to reason with him.

Because I’ve been married and divorced three times and in several relationships, I have some experience. By no means am I an expert. However, when a person has been wounded in battle many times I believe he's qualified to at least offer some advice. And my advice about this man's relationship is that if it's good now – then it'll be good a year from now. They should date for six months or longer before they make the commitment of living together.

I think the old saying, "act in haste, repent at leisure," applies here.