Saturday, June 9, 2012

Gratitude = Perspective


Today I saw another example of how gratitude is mostly a matter of perspective.

One client in group – who nearly died last year from a health problem – was bubbling over with gratitude. And it was for basics:  health, sobriety, a place to live.

Another client – who had a nice home, earned six figures and who had a great family life was ungrateful. He was a victim. It was an injustice that he had to attend counseling because of some misdeeds he committed on his job. He failed to see that a lot of people would trade places with him on a moment’s notice.

When a group member pointed out to the client that his income probably placed him among the top 5% in the world he seemed to shift his attitude. Another group member mentioned that about half of the people in the world live on less than a dollar a day.

Often we get so involved with our self-interests that we fail to keep our lives in perspective. If we look we can find others who have much less than us. We can also find those who have a lot more. When we dwell on "poor me,"  we can get in trouble and start feeling sorry for ourselves.

A healthy perspective is when we accept that obstacles are part of life. However, if we take inventory we can usually find something to feel good about. My experience in running a recovery program is that grateful people seldom get into trouble.

Plus, they're usually pretty happy.

3 comments:

  1. HI, JOHN I JUST GRADUATED YOUR PROGRAM AND I'M HOME KNOW.FIRST I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE TOOL'S YOUR PROGRAM HAS GIVIN TO ME.THEN I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU MAY WANT TO LOOK INTO OR NOT.WITH OUT GETTING INTO DETAIL'S YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE A CLOSE LOOK ON HOW YOUR MAC HOUSE OFFICE IS BEING RAN.MAYBE A AUDIT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.I CAN SAY THAT ALL MONEY'S THAT ARE BROUGHT INTO THE CENTER BY FUND RAISING ARE NOT REPORTED OR USED FOR WHAT THEY ARE INTENDED FOR.HOW IS IT THAT A CAR WASH CAN MAKE MONEY AND MANAGEMENT TELL'S CLIENT'S THE NEXT DAY THAT THERE ARE NO QUARTERS FOR THE CLIENT'S THAT NEED IT TO DO LAUNDRY,AND MANAGEMENT THAT RUN THE OFFICE CAN GO WITH A ROLL OF QUARTERS AND DO THERE'S? MAYBE THEY HAVE THERE OWN BUT IT SEEMS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.ANOTHER ISSUE,AS YOU KNOW THE HOUSE HAS BEEN DEALING WITH BED BUG'S,I HAVE SEEN A NUMBER OF CLIENTS EXPRESS THEIR CONCERN . THREE CLIENT'S WHO HAD FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT THOUGH THEY WERE TOLD THAT IT WOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF,ONE WEEK NOTHING DONE,TWO WEEK,S NOTHING DONE,THREE WEEK'S STILL NOTHING DONE,THEY LEFT WONDER WHAT THEIR PAPER WORK SAID,THEY CANT SHOW US THE CLIENTS.THEN WHEN SOMEONE TELL'S THEM THERE GOING TO CALL HEALTH DEPARTMENT THEN A MAD RUSH BY MANAGEMENT TO GET IT TAKEN CARE OF,AND THE WAY IT'S HANDLED IS UNPROFESSIONAL!WHY IS THAT 206 STILL DOESN'T HAVE A SHOWER?OR MAYBE IT DOES NOW BUT I DOUBT IT.THE REASON I'M WRITING THIS IS THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD THING THAT YOU ARE DOING FOR US,PEOPLE WITH ADDICTION'S. BUT MY MAIN CONCERN IS THE INFESTATION OF BED BUG'S IN YOUR MAC HOUSE CENTER,AND I CAN TELL YOU THE PERSON THAT IS GOING TO REPORT IT TO THE HEALTH CENTER HAS FAMILY THAT HAVE CONNECTIONS AND RESORCES
    TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN,AND I WOULD HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT,BECAUSE I KNOW THE WORK YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER'S HAVE PUT INTO THE COMPANY.I'M GRATEFUL FOR YOU ALLOWING ME TO ATTEND YOUR PROGRAM,AND FOR THE TOOL'S YOU HAVE PROVIDED TO ENSURE THAT I HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RECOVERY.IT'S JUST MY OPINION AND CONCERN THAT YOU MAY OR NOT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON THERE.THE PEOPLE THAT COME INTO THE PROGRAM DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH MORE RESPECT THEN THEY DO. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT THE PERSON RUNNING THE OFFICE NEED'S TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL,AND NOT SUCH A SNAKE.I WOULD HAVE COME TO YOU IN PERSON BUT IF I WAS TO DO THAT I WOULD HAVE PUT MY SELF ON A HIT LIST AND I WANTED TO COMPLETE MY PROGRAM. PEOPLE WHO PISS THEM OFF SEEM TO GET THEIR WALKING PAPER'S IN DUE TIME.NO ONE THEIR THAT I KNOW OF THINKS THEY CAN TALK TO YOU OR ROCKY ABOUT THERE CONCERNS OR COMPLAINTS,THAT THEY HAVE TO GO TO THEM IN THE OFFICE FIRST,AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE THAT'S LIKE SIGNING YOUR WALKING PAPERS.WEEL THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

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  2. AND IF YOU CAN PLEASE KEEP THIS TO YOUR SELF,THAT IT MAY AFFECT SOME CLIENTS THAT ARE STILL THERE,AND ARE DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO.I WROTE THIS SO YOU MAY JUST TAKE A QUIET LOOK INTO MY MY ACCUSATIONS.THANK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HI, JOHN I JUST GRADUATED YOUR PROGRAM AND I'M HOME KNOW.FIRST I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE TOOL'S YOUR PROGRAM HAS GIVIN TO ME.THEN I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU MAY WANT TO LOOK INTO OR NOT.WITH OUT GETTING INTO DETAIL'S YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE A CLOSE LOOK ON HOW YOUR MAC HOUSE OFFICE IS BEING RAN.MAYBE A AUDIT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.I CAN SAY THAT ALL MONEY'S THAT ARE BROUGHT INTO THE CENTER BY FUND RAISING ARE NOT REPORTED OR USED FOR WHAT THEY ARE INTENDED FOR.HOW IS IT THAT A CAR WASH CAN MAKE MONEY AND MANAGEMENT TELL'S CLIENT'S THE NEXT DAY THAT THERE ARE NO QUARTERS FOR THE CLIENT'S THAT NEED IT TO DO LAUNDRY,AND MANAGEMENT THAT RUN THE OFFICE CAN GO WITH A ROLL OF QUARTERS AND DO THERE'S? MAYBE THEY HAVE THERE OWN BUT IT SEEMS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.ANOTHER ISSUE,AS YOU KNOW THE HOUSE HAS BEEN DEALING WITH BED BUG'S,I HAVE SEEN A NUMBER OF CLIENTS EXPRESS THEIR CONCERN . THREE CLIENT'S WHO HAD FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT THOUGH THEY WERE TOLD THAT IT WOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF,ONE WEEK NOTHING DONE,TWO WEEK,S NOTHING DONE,THREE WEEK'S STILL NOTHING DONE,THEY LEFT WONDER WHAT THEIR PAPER WORK SAID,THEY CANT SHOW US THE CLIENTS.THEN WHEN SOMEONE TELL'S THEM THERE GOING TO CALL HEALTH DEPARTMENT THEN A MAD RUSH BY MANAGEMENT TO GET IT TAKEN CARE OF,AND THE WAY IT'S HANDLED IS UNPROFESSIONAL!WHY IS THAT 206 STILL DOESN'T HAVE A SHOWER?OR MAYBE IT DOES NOW BUT I DOUBT IT.THE REASON I'M WRITING THIS IS THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD THING THAT YOU ARE DOING FOR US,PEOPLE WITH ADDICTION'S. BUT MY MAIN CONCERN IS THE INFESTATION OF BED BUG'S IN YOUR MAC HOUSE CENTER,AND I CAN TELL YOU THE PERSON THAT IS GOING TO REPORT IT TO THE HEALTH CENTER HAS FAMILY THAT HAVE CONNECTIONS AND RESORCES
    TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN,AND I WOULD HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT,BECAUSE I KNOW THE WORK YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER'S HAVE PUT INTO THE COMPANY.I'M GRATEFUL FOR YOU ALLOWING ME TO ATTEND YOUR PROGRAM,AND FOR THE TOOL'S YOU HAVE PROVIDED TO ENSURE THAT I HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RECOVERY.IT'S JUST MY OPINION AND CONCERN THAT YOU MAY OR NOT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON THERE.THE PEOPLE THAT COME INTO THE PROGRAM DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH MORE RESPECT THEN THEY DO. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT THE PERSON RUNNING THE OFFICE NEED'S TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL,AND NOT SUCH A SNAKE.I WOULD HAVE COME TO YOU IN PERSON BUT IF I WAS TO DO THAT I WOULD HAVE PUT MY SELF ON A HIT LIST AND I WANTED TO COMPLETE MY PROGRAM. PEOPLE WHO PISS THEM OFF SEEM TO GET THEIR WALKING PAPER'S IN DUE TIME.NO ONE THEIR THAT I KNOW OF THINKS THEY CAN TALK TO YOU OR ROCKY ABOUT THERE CONCERNS OR COMPLAINTS,THAT THEY HAVE TO GO TO THEM IN THE OFFICE FIRST,AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE THAT'S LIKE SIGNING YOUR WALKING PAPERS.WEEL THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

    ReplyDelete