Tough Love for an Addict

Today I ran into a business acquaintance whose daughter has been addicted to methamphetamine for years.

            "How's she doing?" I asked. "She still living with you?"

            "No," he told me, "I won't do anything for her anymore. I quit helping her quite a while ago."

As we talked, he explained he quit helping her because he realized that his assistance was prolonging her disease. She later ended up in jail facing new charges. However, the gravity of the situation made her realize that she had a serious problem. With no one to provide a safety net she decided to seek help.

Now she's in a long-term treatment program and he's optimistic that when she graduates she'll be able to stay sober.

It was difficult for him to quit helping her. And it was only after several years of helping her with legal and medical issues that he decided to let her be responsible for her own behavior.

When parents call TLC and ask what to do about their children we recommend the same course of action. Even though it's difficult to not help loved ones in pain, the help we give often prolongs their disease – and might kill them.

I remember how angry and shocked I was when those around me stopped helping so many years ago.  At first, I thought they were being mean-spirited and narrow-minded.  

But their tough position made me realize – after years of jail for drug-related offenses – that I had a problem. Later I was able to go back and thank them for the tough decision they made.

Their strength in forcing me to be responsible saved my life.