Patience is Key

In dealing with clients I remind myself to be patient. Often what is obvious to me seems to escape some of our group members.

What helps is remembering that I once was in so much angry denial that nothing was my responsibility. Everything was caused by others. No one understood. Those who criticized my drug use didn't know how to party. Or else they were narrow-minded. Whatever it was, I was blinded by denial and unwilling to give up my best friends: heroin and alcohol.

Counselors and others were tolerant and patient with my denial and lack of insight.

I must remember that I only began to change when I had enough pain. When those in my groups lament their history of relapse I have to remember that this is often part of the process of recovery – learning that using doesn't work anymore.

Many male clients think their only problem is they need a job. And if I look back 25 or 30 years I used to think the same thing. My problem wasn't drugs or alcohol – it was that I didn't have enough money to pursue my addiction.

I must recognize that recovery is a slow evolutionary development of skills that goes beyond keeping us sober – it helps us enjoy a full life. Those in the counseling field are blessed to be able to share experience with newcomers. We have a responsibility to use our counseling skills to show them a better way.

While it might sound overly idealistic, when we help others into recovery we make a difference in the larger world.  Change has a ripple effect. Those living with and around a recovering person can't help but be affected by the positive changes. 

Positive changes can only help breed more positive changes.