Addict Children

An acquaintance called about a son who's doing drugs. The son, who’s in his mid-30s, has lost his wife, his job, and his home. At this point the father is totally frustrated. On a few occasions he helped his son out with chunks of money, hoping to stop his downward spiral. However, all he accomplished was to prolong the process.

What the father didn't realize – like many parents of addicts and alcoholics – is that money won’t help an addict change. The addict needs to lose everything to the point where he suffers enough pain to want to change. Often this realization comes later rather than sooner.

I advised this parent that the best thing he could do would be to back off from his son and let him hit bottom. Once his son has enough pain and misery he might change.

What sometimes complicates things for parents is that addict children often blame parents for their addictions.   Addicts have an amazing ability to play on a parent's guilt.

As an addict who's the parent of an addict I have firsthand experience. And I apply the advice I give in this blog to my own situation. Once my son relapsed and started using again I gave him zero assistance.  And that won’t change until I see a long period of sobriety and stability.