Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Thinking I'm God


“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves…”

Thirty years later I still remember having my feelings hurt by a counselor who was admitting me to a detoxification unit in Phoenix.

“Do you believe in God?” she‘d asked me.

            “Of course,” I responded, surprised at the question.

            “No you don’t” she replied. “You think you’re God.”

When she told me that in March of 1982 my life was a wreck. I’d fled California because of some angry people who wanted to have a serious talk with me. I was strung out on heroin.  I was homeless. And I was drinking when I was awake.  Yet for some reason I carried myself with the attitude that I had it all together.

And of course my arrogant attitude is what inspired the counselor to make the remark that I thought was so hurtful and mean-spirited.

It wasn’t until some nine years later that my disease led me to finally turn my will and life over to the care of God. And once I did a peace came over me and I started working the steps. Everything flowed from there.

And that's when I began to understand the difference between thinking I’m God - and doing God’s will.

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