Tough Dilemma

Our clients with children – usually the mothers - sometimes face tough choices. And the choice often is whether to work on their recovery or else leave and try to raise their children before they’re well-grounded in recovery.

Some feel pressure to leave before they’re ready.  And as a result, they face the challenge of living sober, finding a job and an apartment, and going to meetings and remaining sober without a solid foundation.

More than one woman in our program faces this issue. And there are no easy answers. For example, a young mother pulled me aside last week and said she’s having trouble deciding whether to leave when her 90 days program is complete.  Or to stay another 90 days to grow stronger in her program.

She says her two children are with relatives who love and nurture them. But the relatives – not understanding the recovery process – believe 90 days is plenty of time to ensure sobriety. They would like her to return to care for them. So what does she do?

I suggested she talk to everyone concerned – including her sponsor – before making a decision. 

My own counsel is to spend a few more months to get solid in her recovery so her children will not have to go through another separation because mom has reverted to using alcohol or drugs once again.