Impacting Others

"I'm hoping you can help my grandson," said the woman on the phone. "He has a DUI and hasn't met all the court requirements. They're going to issue a warrant."

I told her I'd do what I could to help, that I would look into the matter and call her back. And I did.

But this phone call was kind of sad as it illustrates what we do - in the midst of our drinking and drugging - to others. While I hadn't yet talked to her grandson I'm sure he isn't nearly as concerned about his legal problems as is his grandmother. Otherwise he'd have dealt with the matter sooner.

When in group sessions with those in our halfway house program clients say they never hurt anyone but themselves. And they believe what they’re saying because they’re usually referring to overt acts that might have hurt their loved ones. And while many haven't stolen or borrowed money from family and friends, virtually all have somehow injured those around them by their behavior.

During my years of addiction and alcoholism and incarceration I had the same beliefs. I’d articulate that I felt bad about what I was doing – but I never felt bad enough to change.

In my addictions I never stopped to consider how much others were hurt by my behavior.