Principals or Personalities?

A client who’d relapsed after several years of sobriety was depressed about how his former friends in the 12 step programs were treating him.

            "They act like I don't exist," he said. "I did a lot of service work, I was a GSR, did a lot of volunteer work. But it seems like that because I relapsed no one wants to be around me."

He went on to say that he doesn't know how to deal with the situation, that it was interfering with his recovery.

I suggested he talked to his new sponsor and perhaps start going to different meetings. After all, the  important thing is recovery principles, not the personalities involved.

I've observed over the past 21 years of my recovery that different twelve-step groups operate differently. I've been to meetings where visitors and newcomers are rarely invited to share. I've been to other meetings where those who mention drugs in the course of their sharing are roundly excoriated by old-timers in the group. This, even though AA literature is interwoven with references to drug use.

There are hundreds of meetings in the Phoenix Metro area so it's easy to find a meeting that will welcome anyone. The most important thing to me is that I'm able to find a meeting where I can work on my recovery. 

And I'm not going to let personalities interfere.