I explained to her that it took a lot of practice to develop a calm demeanor. And I didn't become calm because I wanted to be some kind of monk. I changed because it became too painful and stressful to be uptight and angry. And even though I haven't been that way for years, I remember how anger caused me problems.
Most of it came from wanting to be right. Which is to say it was about my ego. And also - while still in my disease - I disagreed with everyone about everything. I thought the world was against me, that someone was out to get me. That attitude makes one defensive. And that was me.
Remaining calm equals getting what I want in life. And what I want comes more easily when I approach things in a calm and peaceful manner. For example, I rarely tell our employees what to do. Instead I ask for help. And while I could use my big voice and order them around, things go better when I ask for help. They respond with less resistance.
And maybe the other part of being calm is that I'm lazy. After all it's a lot of work to get angry - then work myself back to peace of mind.
As much as possible I avoid taking that detour by deciding to remain calm.
