I get into conversations with residents who talk about who they used to be. They talk about the house the used to own. Or the job they once had. How much money they made. The car they used to drive. Or what they did when they were in the military. Or the beautiful family they once had - til alcohol or drugs destroyed everything.
It's always about some idealized past life when they were happier and things were going their way.
But my belief is that while good memories are okay - we need to live in the moment. In the present. Otherwise we'll never be happy. Because we'll never be able to recreate the glory we lived in before drugs took it all from us. Even if the glory was in our mind.
And I'm no different. I was telling someone about when I celebrated my 39th birthday by going for a 15 mile run. I was in peak shape. In those days when I got home from work I'd run five seven minute miles before I took a shower. It was wonderful.
But that's not the way it is today. Six or seven years ago my decades of drinking and drugging caused me to develop neuropathy in both feet to the point where I have to wear braces. Oh I can still ride my bike 20 miles. Or swim for 45 minutes at a time. But at nearly 77 I'm not able to do half of what I once did.
So how do I wrap my alcoholic ego around these new realities? For one thing I have gratitude. I'm grateful that I'm able to walk up the two flights of stairs to my office several times a day. And spend five or six hours at work six days a week.
My suggestion is that we find happiness in the present - because this is where we live. If we dwell in past glories it's like living in an old house with a bunch of faded, dusty pictures hanging on the walls.
