An addict relative of mine has finally left his wife to go pursue his disease.

About eight years ago he entered a recovery program and stayed clean for approximately 6 years. Even though he didn't work a strong program, at least he wasn't using. His participation in the program was limited to admitting the first step. Aside from going to a few 12 step meetings, he also was going to church. But it seemed to be enough to keep him out of trouble. I was pleased he was participating enough to stop using. It seemed to be enough, at least for a while.

But eventually his disease got the best of him. The symptoms showed a few years ago. He started complaining about his employment, his children, his wife and his ex-wife. Nothing was his fault. Everyone was against him. When I would try to talk to him, with the idea that maybe I'd help him get back into the program to start working the steps, he wouldn't listen. He reportedly was spending more time away from home, returning from work late, leaving early. He began associating with family members who were using pills and drinking. His wife finally had enough and the last I heard he's living with a sister who is also using.

I don't necessarily view this long impending relapse a bad, because I believe he'll find out if using and drinking will work for him. On page 31 of the literature it says something to the effect that if we have any doubts whether we can use or not we should go to the bar and have a few. The book suggests it's probably worth a hangover to find out if we can drink. In the case of my family member I believe he already knows he's an alcoholic - and an addict.

However, he's never worked the steps. And if we haven't done the steps or worked a program we haven’t admitted we’re powerless.