Last Saturday I did something that I normally don't do: I went to a jazz nightclub where liquor is served. When I received the invitation the thought that liquor is served at the establishment didn't occur to me. At nearly 20 years of sobriety the availability of liquor is not an issue. When I see people drinking it doesn't trigger anything in me. In fact, I often go to Las Vegas, Nevada on business and sometimes the best room prices are in casinos were liquor flows as freely as water. Sometimes it’s even free.

So while we were sitting at the club waiting for the music to begin my companion asked me a question that took me by surprise.

"Does this bother you?" she asked.

"Does what bother me?"

"The alcohol," she told me, looking at the bar at the other side of the dance floor.

At this point of my life being around alcohol or drugs is not something I ordinarily do. But I work enough of a 12 step program that when these substances show up in my life it doesn't make me want to use. There are times in the course of business that I meet people who drink socially and that doesn't bother me at all. On 12-step calls I have occasion to encounter people using drugs. Sometimes we find drugs on clients in our program.

These encounters did not trigger me to want to use, at least they haven't so far.

Often times when we go to a restaurant the waiter will ask if we'd like wine with dinner. My response is always the same: "thanks, I've had enough." To the uninitiated this usually sounds like I've had a couple of drinks and I don't want any more. And the implication is that I might have had those drinks within the last hour or two. They don't know, or for that matter care, that the drinks I had enough of were consumed over 20 years ago. Nor do they need to know.

The idea that substances are readily available doesn't influence my desire to use one way or the other. If I apply the principles of the 12 step programs in my life on a regular basis – which means daily - I can continue to lead a clean and sober life.