Yesterday someone close to me said I was being "judgmental" when I confronted him about his drinking. The man has a 25 year history of problems with drugs and alcohol. He's been arrested for possession of drugs. He's gone to jail for drug offenses. He's been homeless, lost jobs, and disrupted his relationships because of his drug use.

As soon as he accused me of being "judgmental" I backed off. I immediately realized I was no longer talking to him, I was talking to the alcohol and drugs he was using. I realized this as soon as he started telling me that he was only "drinking a little."

Even though this man is a close relative the same rules apply to him as to everyone else. Life teaches us whether drinking and drugging will work. He's as serious a drug addict and alcoholic as I am. And in my mind there's no reason why different rules should apply to him. Although it's painful to hear about and to watch, I believe this relapse - which has been a long time coming - might be a good for him. The Book tells us on page 31 that if we have any doubt about our disease we should try some controlled drinking. The page goes on to say that it might be worth a case of the jitters to learn if we really have a problem.

In this man's case I doubt he will turn into a social drinker or drug user. I'm not being negative; I just know that addicts and alcoholics who’ve gone as far into their disease as he has suddenly become normal.

If this relapse doesn't kill him, if it teaches him a lesson, then it will be worthwhile.