In the steps it talks about being powerless. And we hear a lot of talk at meetings about being "powerless over people, places, and things." In the 12-step programs we learn that if we give up our attempts to have power over others we'll be much happier.
Life is difficult enough dealing with our problems and maintaining self-control. Let alone trying to control others and all their problems.
I was telling one of my business associates that we have trouble maintaining control over our employees. And we even pay them to work for us.
At one time I thought I had the ability to control my children. Wrong. That I could control and manipulate my parents. Wrong again.
Even though it seems very logical that we would not have power over others, the idea of being able to have others do our bidding is attractive. "Life would just be so much easier if people would do what I expect them to do."
So we go through sometimes years of frustration before we realize that all our effort to have power has been in vain. We have created a lot of anxiety for ourselves. It's like we're carrying around a backpack of rocks.
What is the remedy? How do we uproot the idea that we have even a little control over those around us?
One thing we can do is start to realize that our efforts have been in vain. We learn that others rarely do what we want unless there is something in it for themselves.
But the real thing we learn that helps us shed ourselves of this behavior is that we feel so much lighter when we’re able to give it up. Life is suddenly a dance instead of a trudge.
