This second promise is aimed at helping us get sober – as is everything in the book. While it runs counter to some of what we hear in therapy and psychology today, it serves its purpose. In other words, I believe that there is a philosophical split between the different schools of thought – but that both serve a purpose.
Often times in 12 step meetings we hear a lot of talk of what we did in the past. And not much of it was nice. We treated ourselves and our families poorly. We sometimes went so far into debt that we lost our homes and everything we own. Maybe we picked up a drunk driving case that landed us in jail. Our behavior while we were drinking and using was so bad that we had nowhere else to turn other than to the 12-step programs.
I believe the idea that we "will not regret the past" means that the past is something that we should accept, but not dwell upon. Because many of us addicts have an obsessive nature where we regret the past to the point that that's all we think about. I think this line in the promises is more in the spirit of reminding us of how far we went when we were in the insanity of our addiction. And that's why we don't "shut the door on it." We leave it buried there in our subconscious. Most of the time out of sight, but never totally out of mind. Because if all we think about is the bad things we did while we were using we know a quick way to feel better. And that's not what any of us want.
Mindfulness practice can help deal with our regretting of the past without judgment and with acceptance. Thoughts of regret pop up and we allow them to pass through our mind. We recognize them, accept them without judgment. And watch them float away like a feather on a summer breeze.
