Bad Sponsor?

I counsel our clients to be cautious when picking a sponsor, the person who'll help guide them through the steps and help them work on their sobriety. We recently had an example of what happens when someone picks the wrong sponsor.

An angry and resentful client, who’d been with us for many months, recently left the program on her sponsor’s advice. Not only did her sponsor advise her to leave, she referred her to another program that doesn't offer as many services as TLC – nor does it have the same restrictions. While we're not sure what the sponsor's rationale was for recommending she leave, this is advice that goes beyond sponsor – sponsee relationships in my opinion.

Central Office literature describes the sponsor-sponsee relationship as that of a friend and also a guide through the steps. On many occasions though, I've seen sponsors set themselves up as demigods, authorities on everything under the sun. I've heard sponsors tell people where they need to work, where they should live, and how they need to manage the minutest details of their lives. I even heard of a sponsor in Arizona who advised his sponsee to get off of psychiatric medications – with tragic results.

While I believe a sponsor can give advice to a sponsee the about different aspects of his life, I believe think it should be pointed out that the decision is really up to the sponsee. After all, in some cases there is an imbalance in the relationship because the sponsor has an inordinate amount of power over the sponsee. I believe that in the presence of a powerful personality who has been sober for years, a sponsee might believe the sponsor has great advice about everything in the world - far beyond the realm of recovery.

The sponsor who took our client is no longer welcome on TLC property. Nor is she allowed to sponsor TLC clients.