Saturday, August 13, 2011

Dilemma? Or Non-Issue?

Sometimes there are no easy answers when dealing with recovering addicts and alcoholics. Most who come to TLC stick around for a while, until they get their lives together, then move on. But others stay for a few years, sometimes as long as 10 years. This is a dilemma because our mission is to help people rebuild their lives. And while it's not stated in our mission – part of rebuilding would seem to mean returning to society and becoming a productive citizen. After all, "Transitional" is part of our name.

But some of those who come to get sober stay for years, sometimes up to 10 years. Many who stay this long are older and have no family or friends. In essence, we become a surrogate family. While they stay sober, stay out of jail and don't revert to drinking or drugging they often seem to be stuck in their recovery. They don't attend a lot of meetings. They spend much of their free time watching TV, playing video games, or reading. Many are isolated in their apartments or rooms and don't seem to want to do much else.

And for me this is where the conflict comes in. These men – and it's always the men – aren't breaking our rules or guidelines. We have no upper limit on how long people can stay at TLC. Most of those in this category are useful to the program; in fact many are employees. And several say they've never been happier in their lives. Is this a situation where we’re trying to micromanage people’s lives? After all, isn't being happy what it's all about? Who are we to say that one-size-fits-all? If they're happy and staying sober isn't that enough?

Most of us on the staff don't believe we should ask these people to move on. But some of us think they should want to do something more with their lives. To enjoy the fruits of sobriety is what it's all about. What do we do in these situations? Do we asked them to leave? And maybe expose them to drinking and drugging once again? This likely won't happen.

As I said in the open paragraph, sometimes there are no easy answers.

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