Look to the Positive

The client sat at my desk, an emotional wreck because he believed he "couldn't do anything right." He recited a list of things he couldn't do. He felt "totally useless." I could almost see the cloud of depression floating over his head. He also said he was "stressed out."

We talked for a while about his depression, which seemed to be fueled by low self-esteem. He didn't feel good about himself and felt he wasn't accomplishing anything. Finally, I pointed out that he was a skilled tradesmen, very good at his craft. Sometimes I do this to show a client they've done something positive, that they're not nearly as bad as they think. I asked him to consider, for a moment, the idea he could apply the same abilities that allowed him to be a skilled tradesmen to other areas of his life. He reflected on this for a moment and agreed it was something to try.

Many of our clients let depression permeate their life. It colors their whole existence and saps their energy. They believe they do nothing right. In these cases I often point out, even to the least accomplished, that they have something positive going.

But how do I do this with someone who's covered with tattoos, who's spent years in prison, and who has little education? It isn't that difficult. When I encounter someone with this resume I point out that they have a core toughness about them. The toughness that helped them to survive through years of addiction and living on the streets or in jail. And it is not a stretch to do this. After all, when we witness what some of our clients have been through it's almost like they're graduates of the world's meanest survival school. They were often abused as children, both physically and emotionally and have few social skills.

So I suggest they reach inside themselves and use the skills that allowed them to survive thus far and take positive action – if they want to enjoy life and grow into their potential.