Constant Vigilance

A client who'd been sober for a year relapsed about three weeks ago, but kept it a secret. There was obviously something going on with him but none of us could figure it out. And he wasn't saying anything about what was going on with him. But in groups and around the program he seemed different. He appeared to be under stress.

However, in group today he came clean. He admitted he'd been smoking marijuana and using spice for about three weeks. Once he admitted he'd been using he was given the opportunity to start the program over or leave to finish what he started. He wants to stay, but only time will tell.

This illustrates how alcoholics and addicts in new recovery must maintain constant vigilance. While this man didn't talk of his relapse, it says in the literature that if we're spiritually unfit we might have no defense against the next drink or drug.

In my early recovery these relapses used to bother me. I took it personal. I wondered if recovery really worked. When I saw how some people who seemed to be working a program could so easily relapse I'd become frightened. I wondered if it could happen to me.

And the answer is yes. If I don't work my program on a regular basis I am in danger.